


bad liar

by oermanent



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, College AU, Kissing, M/M, Mild Angst, alcohol consumption and mentioned smoking, surprise it's been a day since i posted this and i've edited it once more, why can't my tags be more interesting lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22541248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oermanent/pseuds/oermanent
Summary: soobin says that yeonjun isn't his type.too bad he can't stop thinking about him anyway.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 78





	bad liar

For the record, Soobin is _not_ attracted to one Choi Yeonjun.

They had first bumped into each other in the shared kitchen of their dormitory. Yeonjun was hunched over a steaming pot of ramyeon, mouth stained red from the noodles he was basically inhaling. He pauses when he catches a glimpse of Soobin, eyes swollen red and sniffling as he drags his feet towards the refrigerator. Yeonjun could feel a cold draught seeping out from it through his open-toe slippers. 

“Finals are rough, huh?” Yeonjun says around a mouthful of half-chewed noodles.

Soobin looks up from the refridgerator, takes a quick glance around the room and then nods at him. 

“Yeah,” Soobin rubs at his eyes, “I look like shit. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Yeonjun replies, lifting his pot towards Soobin, “Want some? Ramyeon tastes great after having a breakdown over finals.”

Soobin hadn’t thought much about their first encounter then. They were practically strangers standing close enough that Soobin noticed greasy strands of hair that stuck to Yeonjun’s forehead. Still, Yeonjun hadn’t said anything about the dark circles under Soobin’s red-rimmed eyes so Soobin doesn’t say anything either, simply exchanging sauce-stained grins when they had finished eating.

It was only later when they ran into each other several times again in the kitchen afterwards that Soobin realised they were stuck in this awkward state where they were closer than acquaintances but not quite familiar enough to be called _friends_. If Soobin had to describe it, he would probably label them as something like _kitchen buddies_ because the only time they ever hung out was, _well_ , in the kitchen.

Besides, Yeonjun had a group of friends he was always surrounded with. By some weird coincidence, it had turned out that Choi Beomgyu, Soobin’s roommate, was actually Yeonjun’s best friend from high school. While Yeonjun’s features are sharp, Beomgyu’s face is almost doll-like, pretty and delicate to the point that Soobin found himself feeling envious more often than he’d like to admit. On the way to class, Soobin would spot them in their little group, leaning against the side of a building—Yeonjun, with a cigarette between his fingers as Beomgyu lights it for him with a cheap plastic lighter. 

Maybe he had been staring at them longer than he intended to because Beomgyu’s gaze was no longer on Yeonjun and he was now waving a hand in Soobin’s direction instead.

“Soobin hyung!” 

“Beomgyu, hey,” Soobin greets. Yeonjun's attention is now on him and for some reason, he feels something he can’t quite place.

“Soobin,” Yeonjun says, “You’re dressed nicely today, where you going?”

The comment is kind of funny once Soobin thinks about it because Yeonjun looks polished all dressed in a white jacket and designer trousers next to Soobin’s plain button-up shirt and old jeans. Yeonjun gives him a small smile and then faces away as he exhales a puff of smoke into the air. Soobin wrinkles his nose at the smell.

“Just a lecture. See you two around?”

“Oh,” Beomgyu replies, “See you later then, hyung.”

Soobin walks away before Yeonjun even has the chance to respond.

The short kitchen meetings and even shorter ones around the college campus go on for a while until one Friday night when Yeonjun invites Soobin over to hang out in his room. When Soobin enters the room, Yeonjun’s friends are already seated around bottles of soju on the floor. Yeonjun shifts to make space for him and Beomgyu lets out a cheer, patting the empty spot as a signal for Soobin to take a seat. 

“Wow,” Soobin takes one look at the gaudy flamingo-shaped fairy lights hung up on the wall, “That’s…something.”

“We got that for his birthday last year,” a girl, who Soobin vaguely recognizes from an introductory class he took last semester, giggles, “Every time Yeonjun brings someone back to his room, he’d have all these flamingoes staring down at them with their beady little eyes.”

“Honestly Yeonjun,” someone adds from across the room, “Is there anyone in the school who hasn’t been with you yet?”  


“I’m pretty sure everyone would say yes if Yeonjun approaches them.”

“Not everyone,” Yeonjun grins, “Like if I were to ask Soobin if I could kiss him…”

“Ew,” Soobin pulls a face, “Hyung, you’re not my type.”

“See?” Yeonjun exclaims, “He’s so against the idea!”

“Hyung, why don’t you kiss me instead,” Beomgyu whines and Yeonjun laughs a little louder than usual, throwing an arm around him.

Later, when the bottles of soju have been emptied and Soobin had carried a passed out Beomgyu all the way to his bed on the other side of their room, he finds himself staring up at the ceiling fan whirling above them and Yeonjun’s words repeating themselves over and over in his head until he finally gives in to exhaustion.

Soobin runs into him a few days later outside the library building. 

“Hey Soobin,” he calls out, “Where you heading to?”

When Soobin simply waves back, he doesn’t even have to pretend like he doesn’t care about Yeonjun because he really— he doesn’t.

_———————————_

Somewhere along the way, Soobin lets himself think that they could be considered friends at the very least. It’s a Friday night when Yeonjun knocks on Soobin’s door. _I’ve got vodka,_ Yeonjun tells him. Soobin blinks, _But Beomgyu isn’t in tonight though?_

_It’s fine,_ he grins, _It can be just us._

Each time he’s been to Yeonjun’s, Soobin had always thought of the soft glow of fairy lights hung up around the room to be extremely calming. Yet right now, it does nothing to quell the jumpiness he feels at the slightest thing Yeonjun does. They sit side by side, shoulders brushing each other like the night they first shared a pot of ramyeon together. Their laughter fills the tiny space between them, Yeonjun’s eyes narrowing as he scrunches his face up carelessly, the sound of his laugh joyful and contagious. Soobin swears that it’s the alcohol he’s consumed that’s causing the fluttering in his chest, _swears_ that it’s not because Yeonjun is the most breathtaking person he’s ever seen.

Soobin isn’t sure what the reason was for what happens next. Maybe it was something that could have been blamed on simple curiosity. 

Or maybe there wasn’t even a reason at all. 

If he knew, maybe he would have tried harder to fight against the sense of urgency that burned through every cell in his body. His gaze traces the folds and ridges of Yeonjun’s ears that are rapidly turning red, seeking out burning cheeks and chapped lips and those words that kept him up for nights filling up his mind, burning at the tip of his tongue.

“If I asked you to kiss me right now, would you say yes?”

If Yeonjun is surprised at the sudden request, he doesn’t show it.

“Yeah, why not?”

He ignores the pounding in his chest when he faces him and, as embarrassing as it sounds, swore he could see flecks of gold in Yeonjun’s irises right before he squeezes his eyes shut and leans in.

The only other time Soobin had ever been kissed was with a short-lived crush that lasted for two weeks back in high school. He remembered the taste of honey-lemon on her lips. She had taken a sip of it right before and there was the cold sensation of her lips against his. Soobin had been incredibly nervous and eager to get it over and done with. 

But this time, it’s _different._

It was just a mere second of pressure against his lips before Soobin is instinctively leaning in again, a huge want surging through his veins, not knowing whether he even wants to be feeling the way he feels when Yeonjun finally pulls away from him. In the fog of his alcohol-addled thoughts, he couldn’t help but think he needs to know how Yeonjun tastes.

“How was that?” Yeonjun asks after a moment.

_It’s just the_ _alcohol_ , Soobin reassures himself, _it’s just the alcohol._

“It was okay,” he forces himself to lie, “Nothing special.”

Yeonjun hums, “Alright, if that’s all you have to say.”

Soobin shakes his head, “Hyung…”

He knows that it’ll sound terribly blunt but there’s no other way to phrase it. 

“Can I try making out with you?” 

———————————

Soobin feels like he needs to tell someone or he’s going to go mad.

“By the way, I kissed Yeonjun last week.” 

“Oh,” Kai looks up from his phone, “Choi Yeonjun?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve said he’s not your type…why though?”

“Dunno,” Soobin leans back into his seat trying to act nonchalant, “I was curious, I guess.”

“Well, it’s not weird anyway,” Kai shrugs in return, “he’s been with a lot of people to be honest.”

———————————

“We dated for a while, Yeonjun-hyung and I…did he ever tell you that?”

It’s a Wednesday afternoon when it finally occurs to Soobin that perhaps they weren’t ever close enough to even be considered friends in the first place.

“No,” Soobin says, careful to not let his emotions show, “He never did.”

Beomgyu sighs, eyes trained on the loose threads of his bedsheets that he rubs between his fingers.

“It’s not like we made it official or anything…I just…” Beomgyu’s voice cracks and he buries his face into his hands, “Fuck, he went and got himself a _boyfriend_.”

Soobin thinks about the conversation he had with Yeonjun two days ago. It was the usual, something mundane, something stupid.

Nothing about getting a boyfriend. 

(Nothing ever about that night.)

“I knew what kind of person Yeonjun hyung was, but I thought things would be different for me,” Beomgyu’s laugh comes out bitter, “You know, everyone said I was good for him…that he was always happier with me.” 

“Can you believe that that was the day I was actually gonna tell him I love him? Then he told me he went and found himself a boyfriend while we were still dating. He didn’t even say he was sorry about it,” Beomgyu says with an edge of frustration, shoulders tensing, “I got mad at him, can you blame me?” 

“He…kinda just flipped out on me afterwards. Said it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t return my feelings. That he met this great guy a week ago and wanted to be with him. Kim Dongsun, what kind of _stupid_ name is that?”

Beomgyu had always cried easily at romantic dramas and sad family movies about dogs, often staying up to watch them in the dark of their shared room. Beomgyu, who still looks beautiful when he cries and Soobin finds himself staring at his long eyelashes wet from tears framing his pretty eyes lit up by the blue wash of the laptop screen casted on his face.  He wonders if that’s the kind of face that Yeonjun would want to see when he wakes up in the morning. 

He wonders how Yeonjun could ever pick anyone else over someone like Beomgyu. He wonders if Kim Dongsun appears like a dream, kind eyes and an intangible charm that could have convinced Yeonjun to break Beomgyu’s heart.

“Gonna let you in on a little secret though,” Beomgyu mumbles when he’s calmed down, voice a little uneven, “Yeonjun-hyung’s such a good kisser. He knows how to use that mouth of his, you wouldn’t understand till you’ve tried it.”

Soobin stares at the afternoon shadow that Beomgyu’s back casts onto the wall. 

He doesn’t say anything in reply.

_———————————_

“You’re saying…that you want to make out with me?” 

Soobin nods, trying his best not to appear eager. Yeonjun has gone quiet and Soobin looks down at his lap as he waits in the silence that stretches out between them.

“Uhm…no,” Yeonjun eventually says, “Soobin, let’s not do that.”

Suddenly, everything snaps into place for Soobin.

There’s a realization that dawns upon him, almost suffocating with its creeping, slow pace but the clarity it brings with it throws him into a state of inner panic once it emerges fully. He feels his eyes darting around the room, trying to focus on anything, anything but _Yeonjun_ who’s sitting right there so he reaches for the bottle of vodka in front of them.

“Oh yeah, that’s fine, yeah, just...asking.”

“Soobin, there’s nothing wrong with you,“ Yeonjun says slowly, as though he’s choosing each word carefully, “Look, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m the problem. You could pick a better looking guy than me or something.”

“Hyung,” Soobin cuts him off with a sharp laugh, “You don’t have to give me an excuse. You can just say no, you know?”

Yeonjun shakes his head, “I want you to know that it’s not that I don’t want to, alright? I just think you could do better.”

There’s a pause and Yeonjun watches as Soobin looks away from him but he can’t stop the words from spilling out into the open, “I’m scared I’ll fall for you if we do that.” 

“You won’t,” Soobin denies, “You won’t fall for someone like me.”

It wasn’t like he was attracted to Yeonjun.

That’s what he tells himself anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> actually i'm really curious about what the readers think, do y'all think yeonjun actually likes soobin back? please let me know your thoughts on this if you have any!!
> 
> honestly i thought this fic was really stupid and almost didn't post it because i had such a hard time struggling to strike a balance between flowery prose and whatever i had in my brain and i gave up trying to get it right so i'm trying to resist the urge to just delete the fic right now lmao


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